Roughly a year and a half ago, I started making some big changes and big plans. So big that, had I succeeded in these plans, I wouldn't be in Seattle. During this time period, I had several astrology-minded friends ask me if I was in my Saturn Return. 

My Saturn-what? To me, Saturn Return sounded like some sort of back-lot ride at Disneyland, and I was pretty sure I hadn't gotten onboard. As they explained, Saturn Return typically hits in one's late twenties, and is a time period of upheaval and dramatic change. Sounds pretty terrifying, amirite? 

Other than my initial shock and awe, I didn't give Saturn Return too much thought. As I am still in Seattle and most of my attempted change was woman-made (versus cosmic), I'm quite positive that period of time wasn't the fated Saturn Return. 

Recently, however, I've felt like the ground underneath me has done a full 90 degree flip, and I've slid right off. As I said in my audition post, lately, down is up and up is down. Somewhere in the midst of feeling like I've been running around like a headless chicken, the words of my astro-friends came floating back to me. Was this my Saturn Return? Am I here now?!

Like any true nerd, I assuaged my cosmic-stress with research. I'll link some of the articles I read below, but, in brief, what I learned was this:

Saturn, mythologically, was a drill sergeant of epic proportions. (One article even referenced this HORRIFYING painting.) When Saturn (the planet) returns to the same place in your chart as it was at your birth, so begins a cosmic dropkick into adulthood. Theoretically, all of the seeds you left unsown come back to haunt you, while all of the seeds well planted bear fruit. The Allure article linked below, called it, "cosmic payoff for your karmic investments." 

Friggin' terrifying. I did find some relief because, apparently, as a Capricorn, this might not be so bad for me. It seems that Saturn is a fan of the goat-fish sign because, again, theoretically, we are a hardworking, perfectionist bunch. (What, me!? No, couldn't be!)

So, being the stubborn goat-fish that I am, I hatched a plot to control my Saturn Return. With my clothing.

Here's how it went:

THE EVENT: This is supposed to be an everyday task. It ended up being a caterer tasting for our wedding. 

THE BROKEN RULE:

1. Never wear anything too girlish
2. Don't make your feet look any bigger than they already are.

THE OUTFIT: Many of the articles I read used words like, "excellence and mastery," or "reclaiming authority," to describe the Saturn Return. As has been my custom lately, I massively overthought this concept in relationship to my outfit. After I grew exhausted with the word "authority" ping ponging around my brain, I settled on this idea: Reclaiming authority with how I look is choosing to wear what I want despite contrary outward influences.

So, basically, this whole experiment. 

Though I felt pretty ridiculous after obsessing over something I'd already come up with, I tried to push the envelope a little farther than I have been. Here's what I came up with:

I started with my And Other Stories mom jeans. (I spoke about them before here.) I added new white Converse hi-tops. (This felt like a big deal because I've spent my whole life convinced I have giant feet and attempting to camouflage their girth from the public eye.) Then, this deco-floral T from Loft. (I rarely wear florals, so here, too, I felt the stretch.) And finally, a thrifted red jacket from J. Crew. 

Before, all of these items wouldn't have been friends, at least, in my mind. But when I put them all together, it was a pretty good party. 

THE EXPERIENCE: Half of this experience was simply getting dressed. Once I "exerted my authority," and wore the outfit, everything else felt like downhill sledding. The caterer tasting was delicious, and oh-so-filling, so I was grateful for the extra room I had in the jeans. I was comfortable. I like wearing red. It all felt right. It also felt a little fun, and I think clothes should be fun. Why else get dressed in the morning?

THE CONCLUSION: It would be oh-so-easy to finish this by saying, "I know, now, that I can't control the cosmos with my clothes." Which... I suppose is probably true. But I'm not yet entirely convinced. I do think that what I wear can effect my experiences. I may not be able to control what other big changes may be headed by way in this three year period, (YES. IT'S SUPPOSED TO LAST THREE YEARS) but hopefully I can look good while enduring it.

Have you survived the Saturn Return? Do you have any advice on the subject? Do you think Saturn Return is an entirely wacky concept? Or are you nearing that period of your life, and your palms are sweaty just thinking about it? I'd love to know what you think and what your experiences have been! Please leave comments below!

I'll be back next Tuesday with another post! Have a happy St. Patrick's Day!

Here are some links to some Saturn Return articles that I found to be either terrifying, helpful, or humorous:

Saturn Is Now in Capricorn — and It Could Be a MAJOR Astrological Event for You

27 Things I Learned About Surviving the Saturn Return

Navigating Your Saturn Return

What is the Saturn Return?