The Fleabag Blues (and Browns)

For many months, I’ve been involved in a long con.

This con started small, with innocent-seeming encouragement. “You’re right, if you’re feeling like you don’t need it, listen to your gut! Only you know what you need!”

And slowly, it grew. It blossomed into something bigger and darker and more deceptive. Last week, I finally realized how deep I had gone.

And here’s the real kicker, not only am I the bamboozler, I’m also the bamboozled.

So, what’s the con? What’s this big deceptive plot? For months, I’ve told myself that I no longer need to actively, diligently, break fashion rules. I’ve convinced myself that it’s no longer necessary. What other rules could I possibly break?! And, after two years, it can’t possibly be interesting for anyone to read.

But, none of that is true. I still need to break those rules. (And new rules!)

If anything, I’ve used this argument as a smoke screen. It was my excuse to avoid some tough discussions about weight gain, and some tight outfits.

What I’ve forgotten is that breaking fashion rules was really, really, good for me. It gave me confidence. It gave me a truer sense of myself by understanding my actual style - not how I styled things I felt obligated to wear.

So, today I’m kicking it old school. I’m returning to Costume Parade’s original In the Lab format, and breaking the fashion rule that was hardest for me to crack.

Let’s do this:

THE EVENT: Happy hour, then a National Theatre Live screening of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag. (The original stage version, not the Amazon show!)

THE BROKEN RULE: Black is always best.

THE OUTFIT: Ever since my first foray into High-Low dressing, I’ve been a bit obsessed. For me, combining casual or simple pieces with fancier, feminine, prim items has become a fun puzzle. (And I hate puzzles.)

So, for this outfit, this return to my roots, I brought the fun with some High-Low dressing. (If you’re thinking, ‘WHAT THE HELL IS HIGH LOW DRESSING’, click here.)

And, truthfully, I’m not sure if it really worked. I think this outfit, grounded in sturdy earth tones with a silky shirt and floral blazer floating above, was a mullet: weekend on bottom, and all business on top.

Regardless, I liked the blues and browns together. (It was a new color combination for me!) Next time, I won’t delineate my highs and lows so severely.

THE EXPERIENCE: I took the light rail toward downtown Seattle to meet Christian at his office. As I exited the station, I looked at the crowd of people around me. Everyone (everyone) was wearing black. I felt very, very, visible.

I hadn’t felt that feeling, that one-of-these-things-is-not-like-the-other-and-it-is-me-feeling, in a long time. I missed it! I’d conveniently forgotten that wearing colors and patterns (and lots of them) is fun.

Christian and I headed to happy hour before the screening. We wandered down to the theater. He took these photos. I kept telling him I just wanted to look normal and natural and he said I was just making myself look a little crazy by constantly repeating that. (He was correct.)

Fleabag was brilliant. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is brilliant. (Did you see her opening monologue from last week’s SNL? Here it is!)

We headed home. I took out my big earrings and hung up my floral blazer.

THE CONCLUSION: I realized later (it’s about to get cheesy, but I’m diving into it) that I felt like myself again in that funny, fancy-construction-worker outfit. And for awhile, I haven’t felt that way.

I think I’m finished being bamboozled. I’m done being the con artist, too. I’m ready and willing and excited to diligently break fashion rules, again.

Have you had a similar experience to mine? Have you sold yourself a lie about what you need, or don’t need, when it comes to how you present yourself to the world? How’d you change your mindset? Are you working through changing your mindset right now? I’d love to hear about it. Drop me a note in the comment box below. (If privacy is more your jam, I love emails and DMs, too.)

I’m off, friends. It’s time to get ready for the day. (I’m breaking another fashion rule!) I’ll be back on Wednesday.

Have a magnificent Sunday!